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*Shave* those mammoths
Apr. 7th, 2008 10:43 pmI mean seriously. If you, in your position as an evil overlord (formerly of Atlantis. Or possibly of outer space, no less), decide to use woolly mammoths as draft beasts to build the pyramids then you could at least shave them. Even then they'd be dropping dead of heat related issues, but you could make a token effort towards having 'em last more than ten minutes. Of course, given that this is Egypt there would be plain ordinary African elephants available to you but if for whatever reason you really *have* to use woolly mammoths then you could try shaving them. It certainly wouldn't make the damn' film you're in any less thoroughly realistic and believable.
This is 10,000 BC, by the way. Don't get me wrong, I didn't go to it expecting realism and believability. I went expecting it to be crap, and looking forward to same. I enjoy watching big dumb films that hit a certain level of cluelessness on topics I'm interested in. The Core is the perfect example; the Earth's core will stop spinning unless we fire lots of nukes while actually in it. In the Earth's core, I mean. Very, very classy indeed. I was really hoping for something similar here.
Instead I got, amongst other things, woolly mammoths in Egypt. An Egypt which appeared to be just a few days travel from the farthest frozen north. A few days travel through jungle somewhere in the Southern hemisphere, based on the nasty infestation of the kind of large, carnivorous, flightless bird found in South America and Australia (about two million years ago at that.) An Egypt which was building the pyramids. Using slave labour gathered by what appeared to be Cossack raiders on modern Arabian and Thoroughbred horses. Wielding iron swords and tools (when the film makers remembered and sticks when they didn't). In 10,000 BC.
All of which really could have been made for exactly the kind of film that I like, the kind that's so bad it becomes good again. The problem with 10,000 BC was the utter seriousness and complete lack of any sense of fun. And also the equally complete absence of any competent plot or dialogue. Oh, and the casual racism scattered throughout it, not least in the whole blue-eyed saviour theme.
I give it one stsr. And that's for the mammoths.
This is 10,000 BC, by the way. Don't get me wrong, I didn't go to it expecting realism and believability. I went expecting it to be crap, and looking forward to same. I enjoy watching big dumb films that hit a certain level of cluelessness on topics I'm interested in. The Core is the perfect example; the Earth's core will stop spinning unless we fire lots of nukes while actually in it. In the Earth's core, I mean. Very, very classy indeed. I was really hoping for something similar here.
Instead I got, amongst other things, woolly mammoths in Egypt. An Egypt which appeared to be just a few days travel from the farthest frozen north. A few days travel through jungle somewhere in the Southern hemisphere, based on the nasty infestation of the kind of large, carnivorous, flightless bird found in South America and Australia (about two million years ago at that.) An Egypt which was building the pyramids. Using slave labour gathered by what appeared to be Cossack raiders on modern Arabian and Thoroughbred horses. Wielding iron swords and tools (when the film makers remembered and sticks when they didn't). In 10,000 BC.
All of which really could have been made for exactly the kind of film that I like, the kind that's so bad it becomes good again. The problem with 10,000 BC was the utter seriousness and complete lack of any sense of fun. And also the equally complete absence of any competent plot or dialogue. Oh, and the casual racism scattered throughout it, not least in the whole blue-eyed saviour theme.
I give it one stsr. And that's for the mammoths.
